I could make wine with my vomit
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
