We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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