How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
