You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize