Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
