who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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