They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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