nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize