He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
