I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
