My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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