you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
