Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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