he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize