Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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