Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
