Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
