garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
