how can u be prego again
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize