Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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