I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
me + whiskey = a bad person
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize