white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
