dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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