You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
