so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
