I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
