do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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