we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize