So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
