Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
