Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
