i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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