Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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