remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
