She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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