New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
