On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
