New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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