Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
