singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
