If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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