Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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