K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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