I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
