Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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