WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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