We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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