I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
