this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she told me i tasted like america
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
