I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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