Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
