I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
