Can Purell be used as lube?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
