So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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