god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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