The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
