Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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