I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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