Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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