You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
