You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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