Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Text me some of your sweat
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
