I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
