so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
