My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
