I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
