you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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