i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
