I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Houston, we have a blender
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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