I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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