she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
