So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
