she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
